This was a 4D ultrasound taken about 2 weeks ago at 36 weeks. They had to make sure she wasn't breech, my doc had been worried she was, but thank goodness, she is not!  With only 2.5 weeks until my due date, I am getting so excited, and really nervous!  My sister and mother in law will be here Wednesday, my sister is going to be in the delivery room with me, and my mother in law is going to watch my niece.  My parents and father in law are heading over once I go into labor.  I'm almost there!!!  I'm praying for a safe labor/delivery and a healthy baby :)

I joined this "mommy team" on a website, that is specifically a military spouse support group, and this list was posted.  I can't speak for every military wife, but personally I do hear a lot of these, and though they aren't meant to be, they are hurtful and annoying.  Some of these pertain to me more than others, but they are all obviously hurtful and annoying to a lot of other military spouses.  Dave hasn't even been deployed yet, and it already upsets me, so I imagine I'm going to be less tolerant when he is gone.  I think 1,8(and any variation of 8) and 11 bother me the most, and I actually hear too often. 

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?" 
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.) 

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it." 
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.) 

3. "At least he's not in Iraq." 
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.) 

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Birth of a child/Christmas/anniversary/birthday/wedding/family reunion, etc?" 
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.) 

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?" 
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. For those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.) 

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?" 
(This one is REALLY annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.) 

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it." 
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.) 

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through." 
(OK. Do NOT equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do NOT feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy ford taurus with mercedes convertible.) 

9. "Wow you must miss him?" 
(This one also gets antoher big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.) 

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?" 
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.) 

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there. 
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.) 

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!" 
(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most 'normal' relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.) 

13. "Well in my opinion....." 
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.) 

14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!" 
(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

 

 

That is the list that was posted, and I'm not posting it to be mean, I'm just so tired of personally hearing these things (and Dave gets some of them too, which really doesn't help him a whole lot either) and having to respond politely.  I have one to add to this list.

 

Please don't tell me that time Dave is deployed is going to go by quickly or fly by once the baby comes. (or that I won't even notice he isn't in the delivery room) - in my head all I can think is, until you have gone 9 consecutive months with your husband fighting a war and given birth in that time without him, I don't think you are exactly qualified to tell me exactly how fast my time is going to go.  I can guarantee you that I will very much notice he is not in the delivery room, and that no matter how BUSY I am with baby or anything else, the time without my husband is not going to go any quicker.  The worry will never be on the back burner and I will always be wishing he was home with me and our baby.  

 

 

I know I am blessed that Dave is only going for 9 months since his unit is already gone, but less time doesn't make it less dangerous and I am scared, and I am hormonal, and I am hoping maybe if people don't say these things to me anymore, it will help the tiniest bit.  Thanks :) 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Fish Family!



We are enjoying our first holiday season down in Alabama!  We don't have any snow (boo), but I've made Dave decorate the outside with lights, and I've decorated the inside of our house and put up a tree!  We won't be able to make it home to see our families this year, so we will be celebrating in Bama.  Saturday is our one year anniversary!  Christmas eve we will spend together, and Christmas day we are going over our good friends for dinner.  This is our second Christmas as a married couple, but our first out on our own.  It's super exciting! 
I hope everyone has a blessed Christmas and a happy New Year! 

Madison Gloria Fish came into this world today at 4:20 am.  I am at the Pensacola airport waiting for my flight to go see her and my sister and my brother in law.  I just can't get there fast enough!!!  (My sister married my husbands brother - we have the same last name again!)

Does anyone have any suggestions for packing?  I know this sounds wierd, but every time I have moved before this someone has helped me pack.  And now I am packing all of my AND David's stuff by myself.  I don't even know where to go to get boxes!!  I move in less than 3 weeks and I am getting very stressed. 

Well, as of December 22, 2006 I am Mrs. Fish!








Crazy madness.  David came home from December 20th to Jan 1st.  I move down to Alabama Feb 1st.  Off to a life of an army wife!

Well! I've been engaged for 2 months now. And I am getting married in less than two months!!!!!!

December 20th. I can't wait for Dave to get home from the army (just long enough for the wedding and Christmas, but still) And then at the end of January I am moving to Alabama. =D

I have moved and made a new journal. I will still be back to check out my friends on here, but my new journal is http://wickedluckyangel.blogspot.com/ if you want to read my posts.

I have a new job! Pier 1 it is a lot of fun.

This past weekend was a blast. Friday Dave and I went to Amanda and Jeebers. Dave had to study for the LSAT and Mike was doing stuff on his computer so Amanda and I were just chatting for a while. Saturday Dave had to go take his test first thing in the morning. I just layed around all day and enjoyed being completly lazy. We went over Amanda and Jeebers again, I made hamberger mac and cheese stuff and an apple pie, Jeremy and Colleen, James and Tiffany and Andy came over as well and Jeremy made some carrots and asparagus. We ate and played Cranium - TONS of fun. Of course we didn't leave until 12:30 and we drove back to Battle Creek in the snow so that wasn't so awesome. Sunday morning after church we got to jut lay around for a real long time. =) Superbowl get together here at Daves, Amanda and Jeeber came over and Katie and Chuck it was a good time even though we didn't so much pay attention to the game.

I had my first real day of work today it was awesome cause I have a job. It is exciting.

Tommorow I'm going to see my girls at CHIC and get my nails done, and Valentines Day shopping with Amanda.

I work thursday and maybe friday and then I am off to Rochester with Dave - my Aunt from Texas is in town.

yeay free food from my parents I love it.

This week went a lot quicker than I expected. Monday I didn't have school I went to Rockford and saw Steve and Eric and Steve's family. It was fun. Tuesday school went well and I cleaned for a while when I got home. Eric came over on his way back to Chicago and we went to dinner and hung out over at Andy and Devins. Wednesday was the day from hell. I left school way early and drove to Rochester though and dinner with the Mad Science crew was awesome of course. But I had to drive all the way back to kzoo that night. Thursday school was okay and I went with Katie to New Addictions to get her tattoo done, its so cute! I was really proud of her for going through with it. Friday school was fun I was hyper, and I drove to Rochester and hung out with Joe and then Cheryl Joe Larry and I went to see Walk the Line - good movie. I am getting ready now to head back to Battle Creek to Katie and Chucks and Dave will be coming over as soon as he gets back tonight! =D =D I cannot wait.

Happy New Years everyone. =D